Parents tips for teen dating adventist online dating sites
I am only speaking from experience my daughter, found herself pregnant at 14 and although it brought us closer together emotionally, it was not a pleasant experience.She is now 18, more mature and a fabulous person, looking back she says I was just a kid - what did I know that something like that would happen to me. I have a 16 year old daughter, though she is pretty easy, but I was a troubled 16 year old once (and I have also transracially adopted a child with challenges).(Drugs also come into so- called dating.) If our kids hang with a crowd that don't date, it's easier.We're all in this together Dec 2001 I would like to hear from parents about what kind of parameters they set for dating for 16 year old girls --particularly sexually active ones who ( in addition to being great kids) can be defiant, unreliable, do not tell the truth and have various emotional problems for which they are in treatment/ on medication.I find myself in the unsettling position of wanting to say very conventional things like ''An 18 year old boy only has one thing in mind.'' And then I feel bad. Older guys pick on younger, more vulnerable girls because it's harder for them to say no. They mostly spent time together at school, at lunch, or met before school for coffee. I told her that I wanted to meet him before they went ''out'' anywhere. Just make sure she knows that she can call you anytime and you will pick her up. That way she might talk to you about any things she doesn't know how to handle.Talk to your daughter about different things that can happen when she is with him and let her know she can make a choice about what she wants to do. I also tell her if he wants to ''go farther'' than she does, she absolutely has the right to say ''no''.She needs to prove to you and herself that what you think, is of no concern to her - but it is a ruse - it matters more than she can accept or let on.
My mother-bear self wants to lay down the law and tell her no way in hell is she going to be dating an 18 year old who we know nothing about.
I guess that is what I would most emphasize: share with her your genuine concern that she make choices that support her and tell her that to that end you will set certain rules with certain consequences, but then acknowledge her responsibility for being the one who ultimately will make these decisions. PS - Alanon might be supportive for you as the parent, even if she is not using any substances, the issues are close enough.
So I must ask first: What is it that you hope to accomplish with your rules?
That does not mean, that if you think she is too young that you need to hide that opinion, but present it in a way that acknowledges her ability to make different decisions, and make sure it conveys your concerns about the effects her choices may have on her rather than an issue of right or wrong.
When adults approached me in this way when I was a teen, they made the most impact.