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Take Lisa, a young, attractive, smart, successful woman from a major metropolitan area.

She professed to want marriage and kids, desperately.

The hotter her rival, the hotter she is, the more she feels superior to the wife in terms of having the goods that men want. If he were to actually leave his wife or partner to make this relationship permanent, brace yourself for a nosedive. someone like me.”) to showcasing desirable qualities that the current mate lacks (e.g., “She’s cold and unfeeling; I, however, am warm, vivacious, and loving.”) Still others engage in “bait-and-switch” tactics, initially offering sex with no strings attached, only to expect down the road that her man will become so attached that he can’t bear to live without her. Maybe even start an affair with the husband you have. I was right there with you until you said 'married men'.

For these women, feeling superior has less to do with the man in question and how desirable he is, and more to do with being more powerful than and superior to the other woman. For starters, he cheated on her with you, so how could you ever know he wouldn’t treat you the same way? Mate poachers, whether they want commitment or just sex, have a range of tactics, from dissing the current partner (e.g., “You deserve someone better . We may not like the tactics, but sometimes they work and successfully (e.g., Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt seem to have stood the test of time, at least as far as we can see). You just might discover a competitive streak you never knew you had. D., is the author of God forbid a single woman wants to do anything else other than look for a permanent relationship that leads to monogamy, marriage, children and ideally a big house in the suburbs. Of course you will be in for some judgment if you purposefully pursue a man that you know made a commitment to another family.

And the sex might quickly become hum-drum once he’s available. Women who want to concentrate on their careers, their hobbies, their friends, and may occasionally enjoy the company of a married man who will leave at the end of the evening and not blow up her phone are pariahs of society because they aren't performing culturally approved activities. It's not exactly victimless fun you're defending here, now is it? Sure he is, but that doesn't mean that we ought to be encouraging women to go after married men if that happens to be their thing, any more than we ought to be encouraging people to do anything else that leads to pain for others in a selfish desire for their own gratification.

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Getting involved in an affair with a married man is a dangerous flame to flirt with. Just because she doesn't know about it, that doesn't mean that whenever she does find out — and she will eventually — it won't destroy her.Anon - I disagree with you regarding the idea that the cheating man is the "bigger card" for being a cheater.I would place as much blame on the woman poacher since it takes both sides to get entangled.When single women see a moderately attractive male, they are more interested in him if they believe he is already in a relationship!In fact, one sizable study found 90 percent of single women were interested in a man who they believed was taken, while a mere 59 percent wanted him when told he was single.

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