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He never seemed that happy in the relationship, but everyone just assumed they would eventually get married.
Now, after a long and difficult breakup, The New Lease On Life Guy has reemerged with a bang and is suddenly acting like he just got called down on The Price Is Right.
The Total Package has a hell of a career going, but don’t you for a second suggest that The Total Package would be a workaholic—The Total Package is a family man.
There’s just one thing The Total Package seems to be having a hard time finding—a girl worthy of his greatness.
Now it’s seven years later, his hair got bored and left, and his high school lacrosse glory isn’t part of the conversation that much these days.
And he’s noticing that girls like his ex-girlfriend don’t seem to be all that into him anymore.
He did quite well with girls back in his earlier days when many were in their attracted to assholes phase, but lately, only those with the lowest self-esteem seem to gravitate towards him.
He’s also not quite sure why everyone who knows him is trying to figure out “what the problem is.” His parents are worried, never wasting an opportunity to ask him if he’s been dating anyone.
His friends want to help, setting him up on dates every chance they get.
Through high school, college and his twenties, he was always The Guy With A Girlfriend.
He spent years enjoying pitying his single friends, and somehow, he’s now 30 and single.